When I quit my stressful job at an event agency to become a full-time mother who took care of my kid 9 years ago. I used to have only 24 hours a day.
Fast forward to the present, I now have four young kids, I’m running a property investment company, and I’ve started a new line of VA (virtual assistant) business. I still only have 24 hours a day.
What makes the difference between then and now? I asked myself this question again and again. I often hear other moms complaining that they would like to achieve more for themselves, but they can’t because they don’t have the time. I read a lot about successful business owners and how they manage their time and make the most of their days. However, almost all of the books were written by men, and businesswomen seldom mention how they jiggle between family and business. The most I heard from them is that you would need to find time to build your passive income if you want to succeed.
What if success means more to me than just making money?
What if success means being able to be there when my children need me, to spend time with them, bake for them, and also be financially free?
I believe that each person should define success in their own way. Being able to live the life you truly love is in itself a success. But if you do have a similar point of view about success, such as living a life that is financially free and doesn’t make you feel guilty about having given up time for your family, read on.
After observing how I do certain things myself, I came up with 5 tips that you might find useful, especially when you struggle to find time to achieve your career between kids’ school and lunch and spending time with them.
Tip number ONE: Family comes first
- This tip sounds very counterproductive because that is what makes our mummy lives so stressful! But I think it is important to make it very clear to yourself that, if you want to operate guilt-free and not have to make decisions that make you regret afterwards, make sure you consciously put the family first and block time in your calendar for important school events or make it a family routine to attend to your partner and children, such as weekly date night and a 30-minute story or board game time every evening. By consciously choosing to prioritise your family, you know that the rest of the day is at your disposal, and you can freely arrange the time the way you want to
Tip number TWO: Clear, measurable goals
- “All roads lead to Rome” is only true if your destination is Rome. And even if you are on a road that could lead you to Rome but you don’t have a destination, you might end up walking up and down the road and wasting your time because you can’t tell if you are making the right decision. The word ‘right’ here is relative. If you don’t have a clear goal for what you want to achieve, there’s no way to find out if you are doing the right thing. Your goal can be anything from building your own business to writing resumes for job hunts or working on a healthier body. As long as the goal has a positive long-term impact on your well-being, it is a goal to pursue. Make sure that the goal is measurable. Otherwise, you don’t even know if you have achieved it.
Tip number THREE: Block time for your goal
- Now that you have a clear defined goal, you would need to be 100% committed in order to make it happen. One of the most useful tools is to block time for your goal. Mark it in your calendar and set an alarm on your cell phone a day before it. If it’s a regular or daily time block, set the alarm to an hour before. It is a very similar principle to tip number ONE in which you put aside time for your family. Anything worth pursuing in life requires serious commitment. By deciding to invest time in it (e.g. block time for a task), it is indeed a huge mental investment. And by taking time blocking seriously and not allowing other things to change your plan, it is a physical commitment. Invest time in your family, but it’s also important to invest in yourself.
Tip number FOUR: Say no to meet-ups
- I have never been the party type of person who is popular in the crowd or who always calls for a gathering. Nevertheless, I used to get invited to join the breakfast gathering of the mothers after we’d dropped off our kids. But those relationships only brought me very little comfort. Almost every time after the gathering, I felt like I’d wasted two hours for nothing, and I didn’t feel that the bond with any of them had grown any stronger. In fact, I’ve kept in touch with none of them since the school year ended because to them, the main point of getting together was not really to build relationships. It was more about killing time. So identifying meaningful relationships is important because time is your biggest investment capital. Don’t spend it on relationships that won’t grow with you.
Tip number FIVE: Make it a habit
- This is one of the most difficult things but also the most crucial practice. But it’s not easy. At the beginning of this practice, I always forgot that I’d even put it down in my diary! It took me about two weeks to get used to my new routine (for instance, time-blocking), but once that has become a habit, it is never a problem to find time for important tasks anymore.